


15 Steps Forward

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Green Arrow (comic)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>15 moments of trying to deal with the hard truth of Roy's addiction and other failings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	15 Steps Forward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caia](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Caia).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻译】前行中的十五步](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12574932) by [Robin_and_Hood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_and_Hood/pseuds/Robin_and_Hood)



> My great thanks to two wonderful betas [KB and R] for their excellent, last-minute work. They were both incrediby helpful and talented.

He doesn't talk to Ollie for two days and then, in the middle of day three, there he is. "Hal," is all Ollie says, and all Hal can hear is the broken parts of him shattering to the ground.

Hal makes coffee and sandwiches. He watches Ollie flex his hands. Hal sits down at his kitchen table and watches Ollie stare into his coffee cup. "It'll get better," Hal says after a minute. "You always tell me everything has to get better."

"But what if it doesn't? What if he can't-"

"Cram it, Ollie," Hal says. "Just cram it." 

*

"Cold turkey?" Hal asks when Dinah calls. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Couldn't talk him out of it." She sounds exhausted. "Tried to tell him there were other options. He wouldn't listen."

Hal suppresses a reference to Ollie. "Roy's okay?"

"Weak and sick, but he'll pull through."

Hal doesn't know what else to say. "I'll tell Ollie."

"Sure."

"He's been worried," Hal adds.

"He should have been worried before."

"How could he have known?"

Dinah sighs heavily, and Hal hears the weight of everything she's trying not to say. "How could he not?"

"I'll let him know," Hal says and hangs up.

*

Three days later, Ollie shows up angry. "That ingrate!" He says as he stomps into Hal's apartment. "I offered to let him come home, and he told me no! Dinah told me to get lost!"

Hal watches Ollie pace. "What'd you think they'd do?"

"I offered him-"

"You kicked him out. Told him to scram-"

"I know what I said!" Ollie yells, turning to face Hal. "I can't believe-"

"He doesn't want to be around you," Hal says calmly. "I say let him stay away."

"You don't get it," Ollie says. The door slams when he leaves.

*

"Of course Ollie's not welcome," Dinah says when Hal shows up at her door and asks. "Why the hell would he be welcome?"

"He cares," Hal tells her.

"Not good enough." Dinah glares when Hal sticks a giant green hand in the door. "And you coming here for him doesn't prove a damned thing."

"He blames himself," Hal says quietly.

Dinah puts a hand on her hip. "And?"

Hal doesn't know what else to say. "What?"

"It's always about himself," Dinah says. "Himself, and the whole damned world. But he never quite remembers about the individual people who mean oh-so-much."

*

"He's my boy," Ollie tells Hal. "He wanted to learn everything. I wanted to teach him."

Hal thinks these are the kinds of talks that should only be had when drunk, but he can't bring himself to stand up and go to the fridge. "He's tough," he says to Ollie. "He's stubborn. Give him some time-"

"Whole thing's my fault. If I'd paid more attention..." Ollie stares at his hands. "Taught him to aim and shoot. This whole damned thing is my fault."

"There's shooting, and there's shooting," Hal says. 

"Breathe deep," Ollie says to himself. "Concentrate and shoot."

*

"Please," Ollie says, and Hal makes himself look away. "Dinah, I just-" Ollie puts the phone on the cradle, and his shoulders slump. "Damnit," he says to the wall.

Hal leans against the sink and looks out the window. "Give it time."

"How's that supposed to help?"

"I don't know."

Ollie snorts. "Brilliant, buddy. Thanks so much."

"You're the touchy-feely one," Hal points out. "I'm doing the best I can."

Ollie tries to smile. "I know. I'm sorry. This whole thing is just..."

"I know," Hal says quietly. "Come on. Let's go duke it out."

Ollie grins. "All right."

*

"Okay," Hal says, a hand out to stop Ollie from advancing again. "I give. I give."

"Gettin' old," Ollie taunts as he sags against the ropes.

"Feel better?" Hal asks as he checks a sore spot on his ribs.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

Ollie hauls himself off the ropes and probes at a bruise on his cheek. "Dinah's told me to leave her alone," he says. "Says not to call her or Roy if I don't want my teeth kicked in."

"I'm sorry," Hal says. "She'll forgive you."

"Maybe. I don't know."

"I always have room," Hal offers.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

*

They beat up the bad guys every night for two weeks. The papers wonder why Green Arrow is in Coast City. A call to Batman lets Ollie know that Dinah's doing just fine keeping Star City safe without him.

"That's embarrassing," Ollie admits.

"Star City's safe. That's good."

"I thought I was more important than that."

Hal laughs. "You're kidding."

"What?"

"Just," Hal laughs again, "that's quite the ego for Mr. Society-Should-Take-Care-Of-Everyone-Equally."

There's a pause, and then Ollie laughs with him. "Yeah, well, I used to be rich and important."

"You were never important," Hal says haughtily.

Ollie laughs harder.

*

Ollie takes a crowbar to the ribs, and it's Hal who has to call Dinah. "He's been hurt," is all he says when she picks up.

"Not the first time." Dinah hangs up the phone with a sharp clack.

"Told you," Ollie says from the couch. He's propped up on a couple of pillows and his ribs are wrapped in a cloth bandage.

Hal presses a hand to his ear. "Didn't know a phone could be put down so loudly."

"Dinah can do everything better."

"That's a bad thing to say to the man who dressed your wounds."

Ollie smirks.

*

"Back in ten," Ollie says to Hal.

"And eggs!" Hal yells as the door slams. When Hal turns around, Roy's standing in the middle of the kitchen. Hal blinks. "Just missed him," he says after a second.

"Is he okay?" Roy looks thin and over-tired.

"He'll be back-"

Roy shakes his head. "I can't be here when he gets back."

Hal feels his pulse speed up. "Long way to come just to ignore him."

"Is he okay?" Roy repeats.

"He's getting by."

"I wasn't here," Roy says.

Hal turns away so he doesn't have to see. "Of course not."

*

"They'll take you back," Hal says one night after patrol. "You'd just have to show up."

"I know that," Ollie replies. He places his arrows next to Hal's coat rack and throws his cap on the couch. "I don't know if I want to show up."

"Why not?" Hal gets two beers from the fridge. "Never known you to back away like this."

"I've never been in this situation," Ollie says.

"Which situation? You've handled angry Dinah before. I know Roy's problem was a shock-" Hal's cut off when Ollie kisses him. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Ollie-"

"Yes or no?"

*

Dinah shows up in the middle of winter; her mouth set in a way Hal recognizes uneasily. "Ollie here?" Her tone is sharp.

"Just missed him," Hal says. "Went to the gym." He lets Dinah look him over. "Something else on your mind?"

"That's Ollie's shirt."

"Yeah, it is." Hal shoves his hands into his pockets. "Anything else?"

"Tell him I came by."

"He'll be back-"

"Things to do." She turns on her heel.

"The three of you," Hal says just angrily enough to make her pause. "The goddamned three of you."

"The goddamned three of us," she responds.

*

"I have to go to Star City," Ollie says to Hal one night. "There's unfinished business."

Hal smirks without meaning to. "Don't have to tell me that."

Ollie stares into his duffel. "I'll be coming back. I'm not sure when."

"Do what you have to do," Hal says. 

"Hal," Ollie looks up, looks at Hal. "Dinah's a pretty bird. Roy's my son. You're," he looks away, "you're my best friend."

"But I'm no Dinah." It's bitterer than Hal intends.

"No. You're my best friend."

Hal wants to kiss him. He stays on the other side of the bed. "Be careful."

*

"Jordan! Visitor!"

Hal ducks under the wing of his plane, and there's Ollie, visitor's badge clipped to his shirt. "Well, hey."

"I'm back."

Hal smiles a little. "I noticed."

Ollie smiles in return. "Star City maintains without me."

"Did you get to talk to him?"

Ollie's smile drops a little. "A bit."

Hal shakes his head. "I'm sorry."

"It's a start," Ollie says. "And that's more than I had."

"I'm glad you got it."

"Me, too."

They look at each other for a minute. A wrench clatters and breaks the silence. "Buy you a beer later?" Hal offers.

"Sure thing."

*

Hal opens the window before he slips into bed. "Over," he says to Ollie.

Ollie moves. "Thank you," he says quietly.

"Always happy to give you a place to stay."

"Not for that." Ollie touches Hal's chest. "There are friends," he says, "and there are friends. And if you weren't my friend, I wouldn't be here right now."

"That's because you wouldn't know me."

"No," Ollie says, and his eyes are incredibly serious. "It's because there's no one else who would have tried so damned hard."

Hal has nothing to say to that, so he closes his eyes and sleeps. 


End file.
